Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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