I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
