You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
