Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
