My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
