Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
