you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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