So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
