Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
