i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
