this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize