How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
