she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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