yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize