I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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