please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
