I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
