6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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