you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want nice things and good sex
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
