I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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