Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
