The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
