Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
