i think i have herpe
just one?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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