I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
