trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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