I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
