He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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