i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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