and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
