So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
