therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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