ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
