4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
