I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
