gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
