why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
