You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
