y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
