I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
