he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize