I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
