this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
