Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize