You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
