Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
