Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize