she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
