so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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