We won't sleep together?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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