Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
