That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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