i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Send help, water and tortillas.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
