I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize