He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
