I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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