i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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