first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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